Sunday, April 7, 2013


Today I was engaged (polite way of saying goaded) to participate in a 30 Day squat challenge. What started out as me being a wise ass (no pun intended) cracking jokes on facebook has turned into the beginning of some long overdue daily exercise. Many of you have probably seen this floating around the internet, on facebook and in emails. When I searched for this image, hundreds of them came up, one for every month, some for squats, some for sit ups, some for other things that looked like they really hurt.

I personally like the name SQUATAGEDDON
This image happens to not have a picture of a 25 year old fitness model in the centre of it doing a squat. I didn't need (or want) to look at her perfect backside any longer. I'll refer to her image when I need to correct my form while doing my daily squats. (I may or may not pretend I'm biting her perfectly airbrushed bottom while I'm squatting)

I'm fat, I'm over 40 and I am having a love affair with my sweatpants. (pants that rarely see sweat except maybe when I vacuum) I know I need to look after myself better. With some self discipline this is a great way to start. Boot Camp isn't for me right now, besides I fucking hate burpees. 
(If you don't know what those are you need to google it, and get on the hate wagon with me) 

I feel like I look much like this. Put some heels on me and I'm a goddess, or just a pig on stilts. 
There's a lot of time and money invested in this body.
My loving Spouse is very kind and assures me I'm actually much more like this stunner. In my eyes she truly is beautiful. Milky skin, ample breasts and a large curvy bottom. (Very slap-able.) Ultra feminine.
racy- I like it! 
This gorgeous lady is probably a North American size 10 but by today's Hollywood standard, enormous, tabloid fodder, and considered to be overweight- by who I'm not sure, some business people somewhere I suppose who are imposing a standard of beauty in order to sell under sized clothing they disguise as 'slim fit' which actually translates to we're in this to make more money, and it's not enough that this crap clothing is made overseas, so in order to make even more money we're cutting corners and cutting fabric. 
'slim fit' - my big white ass.    

This womanly figure my friends is my goal. 

So as part of my promise to myself when I began this stay at home journey, I am going to start exercising. Starting with my friendly cross country squat challenge- I am attempting to finally shed this baby weight that I've been lugging around for 10 years. I promise not to Susan Powter you with all of my success. 
"STOP THE INSANITY!" let's be realistic, I love potato chips, red meat and most of all booze. 
I'm not going to be running any marathons, doing Iron Man races or downing crazy medicinal shakes. 

I like to jiggle when I walk 

1 comment:

  1. Too funny! Someone mentioned this at work the other day, and I decided to google the workout and found your blog! Hope it went well!