Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Cootie Bugs

They're creepy and they're crawly, they're tiny and they're small-y, they're sneaky and elusive-the
dunununu snap snap...

Yep. You read it right. Lice. the timing couldn't have been better as we geared up for Halloween. What better than some real creepy crawlies to add to the spooky spirit!

Hurricane Girlchild presented with lice about two weeks ago. I immediately began muttering a four letter swear word that begins with F and ends with K.  Repeatedly.
You see, I was a Lice Virgin.

I am so oblivious to the little critters that I had to get a second opinion from my girlfriend, then a neighbour, then the almighty interweb. I had never in my life seen the little beggars or been in contact with them, let alone know how to even begin to deal with them.

After I stopped scratching, (the power of suggestion is amazing. You're probably scratching right now...)
my OCD kicked in, and before the poor kid could blink I had her head wrapped in a kerchief, beds stripped, a frantic phone call to spouse to stop at the pharmacy and laundry running in the hottest setting I could get.

A quick text to my girlfriend that runs the daycare centre where Hurricane Girlchild's classmates attend to advise of the cooties elicited a phone call in return that was mostly laughter and comments like "it's about time, you've had a kid in school and daycare for 10 years-you've dodged a bullet this long" etc etc. I guess when you work with kids, it's so common that you don't get in a flap. She was nice enough to congratulate me on losing my virginity, which was a pat on the back. I felt like I joined some sort of club.

I emailed the school to advise of the problem. Jokingly referring to the situation like winning the lottery, and Monday morning the children all had a letter outlining the treatment and prevention. Good job school!

When Spouse arrived home that day, medicated shampoo in hand he must have thought I had fallen off my rocker. The house was in chaos and I was a woman possessed. Out of breath, sweating and scratching imaginary bugs like a meth addict, I'm sure I was quite a sight. But my efforts were worth it, all beds were laundered and re-made by bedtime, Hurricane Girlchild bathed and treated and I'm sure I didn't scratch much in my sleep.

I raised the bar on nit picking, and now fully understand the meaning behind that term. Thankfully catching the nits before they became a problem was my only sanity that week. I am certain my head would have exploded if we had a full blown infestation in the house. My girlfriend who is a hair stylist said I was lucky to catch it early as she carefully combed through my own mess of hair to make sure I hadn't picked up the little bastards.

I discussed the situation with one girlfriend and described the lengths I went to to eradicate the cootie bugs and she laughed at me. Saying "don't you think you went a little bit overboard?" I asked her if she'd let her kid sleep over-her response. "hell no". So no, I think I went just overboard enough.

So after two weeks, still no sign of the little parasites. One treatment and one hell of a lot of laundry and the little bloodsuckers were gone as fast as they arrived, at least until next time.

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