Tuesday, March 19, 2013

don't eat the yellow snow....

I am officially tired of winter. Bitch. moan. whine. complain. We received another foot of snow yesterday to add to our already large amount covering the ground, and considering Spring is supposed to be making her appearance this week, this is a cruel trick played on us northerners by Mother Nature.  ha ha MN you win. We give up, please tell Old Man Winter to back the fuck off.

The other thing that starts to bother me about snow this time of year is the pee. An accumulated season of yellow patches left behind by walking dogs and occasionally a drunk guy named Joe with good aim and a very full bladder.

All the pee bothers me because I deal with a lot of it. I feel like it's everywhere. I have two bathrooms in my home, and two male housemates, add to this mix Hurricane Girlchild who uses the bathroom while in motion most of the time along with numerous visiting male friends of The Boy and don't forget the Cat's litter box. You can imagine the amount of pee I deal with.

I should own stock  in Lysol.

Now, I don't stand up to pee. Maybe it's harder than it looks? Or maybe it just requires an amount of focus and patience that younger males don't possess. I'll have to ask my Spouse about that-he's old and wise and I'm sure rarely  misses. Perhaps I'll run a poll of adult male friends.
But focus or not, it doesn't change the fact that I clean up what seems like a lot of piss.

Imagine if you will, a home maker decked out in rubber gloves, 2 types of antiseptic cleanser in her hands,  very perturbed on her hands and knees scrubbing and close to gagging while muttering obscenities. Kinky for some. For me a twice a week endurance test.

Rest assured if you visit our home the washrooms are safe for use.   

So aside from emasculating my male room mates and house guests and asking them to sit to pee. I'll either have to put out puppy peepee pads or perhaps post a gentle reminder.


No comments:

Post a Comment